Why should God let me into heaven?

As a lifelong Catholic, you might think that I’d know with certainty what my answer should be. And yet, if I were to reflect on my life—I would have answered differently at each stage.

As a child who attended Catholic school, the answer to the above question would have been short and sweet, “Because God loves me.”

As a teenager and young adult, the answer would have become more detailed. I went to Mass every Sunday. I was an altar server and involved in youth ministry. I was generally a good kid. As a young adult, I didn’t do anything any normal young adults didn’t do. While I might have bent the rules in some ways, I didn’t do anything criminal. 

My answer would probably have been something like, “I did what was expected of me, and overall I’m a good person.”

Somewhere in the middle of my undergraduate degree, my idea of faith was drastically interrupted. 

Up until that point, I didn't have much of a reason to ask deeper questions. I felt like my life and my relationships were all as they should be. But like my relationship with God at the time, I was just trying to do what I thought they wanted me to be. No relationship can survive like this, though. 

When a few of these relationships got into trouble, for the first time I started to ask questions like, why am I going to school? What am I doing with my life? What do I even believe? 

When a friend invited me to a group called Discovery, I was reintroduced to Jesus as someone who wanted a relationship with Him. With everything going on in my life, I started to wonder, what do I actually think about Jesus? 

There was a diagram of relationships but the premise went like this: There are three levels of commitment in three levels of human relationships—single, dating, and married. No matter what, everyone has other aspects of their life, such as career, school, family, friends, hobbies etc. Depending on the commitment, the integration of that person with the rest of your life differs.

For someone who is single with no romantic relationship,  they have no commitment. They continue on with their life without having to think too much about it. 

For someone dating, someone is part of their life, but commitment is limited. They may not know all their friends but know their family. They may do some hobbies with them but not all of them. 

And then there is someone who is married. This is an intimate relationship and a permanent mutual commitment. Your lives are completely intertwined because you love each other. You want to share everything. You want to celebrate the joys and work through the hardships together.

It’s the same with Jesus. 

For some, they don’t have a relationship with Jesus and He is outside their life. Some acknowledge Jesus as part of their life, but haven’t completely committed to Him—He’s just one aspect of their life, that they maybe spend time with once a week. And for some, relationship with Jesus is the most important relationship in their life. It’s primary and central, influencing all decisions—just like in a marriage. The most important part? It is based out of love. 

What would marriage look like if it didn’t have love? A lot of pointless rules. Jesus wants you to share life with Him because you love Him, not because you have to. 

It took me a while to understand where I was in this example. I hadn’t really thought that Jesus might want to be so involved in my life. 

I realized faith wasn’t about checking all the boxes, keeping a scorecard of Masses attended, or measuring how spiritual I’ve become.

It also helps me realize it is ok to make mistakes and have setbacks. Like marriage, relationships can have ups and downs but it's the commitment of the individuals that keep the relationship going.

Understanding this relationship changed the way I understood God, heaven, and my life. I began to see that salvation was a free gift from Jesus and it's up to me to accept it. Living out the Christian life is a way to respond to this gift, not to earn it.